I don't get sick. I'm not bragging or thumbing my nose at those of you poor bastards who chronically get a cold or the flu, it's just that I don't. I do, however, have a theory why: I grew up running around the neighborhood getting dirty ... no, downright filthy, actually, and when I got thirsty, I ponied up to the nearest garden hose and helped myself to some liquid refreshment on the spot. We had no hand sanitizer or alcohol wipes back then. As I recall, the only time I was required to wash my hands was when I showed up to Ma Stavem's dinner table, and you better believe that procedure was often repeated not once, but multiple times until they passed inspection. We were kids, we got dirty, but ultimately it was probably germs that kept our bodies from getting sick and keeping our resistance up.
Fast forward to today when I woke up to go to work. I stood up and stretched and noticed I felt a little off; a little achy and chilly. It's probably nothing, I told myself. I don't get sick, but when I got home I felt worse. My whole body ached, my head was throbbing, my hair hurt, and I promised Senor Licata that I would have my column turned in today. I can't be sick. And then it hit me. Whenever I do get sick I have a fool-proof remedy feeling better. I load up on soup, Gatorade, Oreos, and Snack Pac pudding; make a blanket fort on the couch; and cherry pick the DVD rack for classic "I'm sick" movies and hunker down for the duration.
Usually I have a theme for the sick-day collection; be it a World War II classic like Twelve 'O Clock High, or timeless baseball gems like Field of Dreams or The Natural. It really is the only time I ever seem to get a chance to re-watch my favorites back-to back, so why not kill two birds with one stone and help you sick CP readers while I do it. So here goes. I proudly present my top 11 car-theme movies for your enjoyment.
I'm Just Sayin'
11. Death Proof
Kurt Russell. Rosario Dawson. Toss in a '70 Nova and a '69 Charger with hot girls battling to stay alive and I'm sold.
10. Viva Las Vegas
Race cars, Vegas, Elvis randomly breaking into song, a stunning 23-year-old Ann Margret as his love interest. 'Nuff said.
9. The Blues Brothers
Jake and Elwood on a mission from God coupled with a who's who of cameo performances and a killer soundtrack.
8. The Transporter
Double-threat Jason Statham will kick your ass and drive circles around you in this frog film that I guarantee delivers.
7. Smokey & the Bandit
Got the flu? This is for you. Romance, comedy, drama, and good old-fasioned American fun.
6. Talladega Nights
Ricky Bobby and his dysfunctional family turn the NASCAR fun burner up to high in this hilarious laugh-a-minute comedy.
5. Grand Prix
Cutting-edge camera rig shots and a very capable James Garner make this a must-see for race car fans of any age.
This is one of those movies that you can watch once every five years and have it feel like the first time you laughed your ass off.
Bond steps up his game and rocks an Aston Martin DB5 loaded with enough hi-tech gadgets to make your head spin.
2. Mad Max
Post-apocalyptic good guy wielding a '73 XB GT Ford Falcon coupe with a supercharger chasing bad guys ... Who's in?
1. American Graffiti
The best slice of hot rod Americana you will ever see, plus cameos by Suzanne Somers and Wolfman Jack. Outstanding.
Snake & Mongoose
Not out yet, but c'mon; These two drag racing legends going at it on and off the track ... Yessir.