It's sunny and warm, spring has sprung, and I for one am totally stoked. Why? Well, first of all pitchers and catchers report to spring training in a few days, and by the time you read this the baseball season will be in high gear. But it’s not just that the best game ever invented in the history of the world celebrates its season opener, it’s the time of the year that it represents: spring. Yes, sweet, sunshiny spring.
I know most people think of New Year's day as the start of the year; the day to turn things around, lose a few kilos, or finally tell your boss to take a flyin' leap. Myself, I just see it as filler time. For me, spring is the real start of the year and I don't mean to take care of all that other crap I mentioned, either. I’m talking about stuff you want to do. Stuff you look forward to doing. Stuff you physically can't do during the winter while freezing your heinie off in 15-degree-below-zero Duluth, Minnesota.
And just to clarify, I’m not talking about the honey-do projects. Everyone has those and, yes, they have to get done, but I just see those as a gateway chore to getting to what I really want to do: busting out the welding torches, dusting off the roll-away and floor jacks and getting busy on cool car projects.
Hopefully, while you were sitting around drinking beer, watching the second best game ever invented (Football), and significantly adding to your gross tonnage, you were flipping through stacks of manufacturers catalogs and planning your future weekends.
I know I was.
Spring is the perfect time to start these projects. Why? The obvious reason is the weather and the extended amount of daylight of course, but it’s also when the calendar lines up a nice string of three-day weekend holidays that spread out nicely 'till the first week of September.
I like to think of the President's Day holiday as the kickoff for project season. I know you folks in cold-weather states are gonna start balling about how that is the coldest time of the year, but it’s usually when we get a sweet unseasonable heatwave here in So Cal, and it’s my column so stifle yourselves and listen up. Besides, there's no crying in project season.
Now, I'm gonna pass on a little knowledge to you first timers so you don’t get in over your heads. Start off the season with something inexpensive and easy to do. Maybe some interior/exterior detailing. And I’m not talking about a five-minute splash-and-dash hobo spritz-and-dry with your new Sham Wows you got for Christmas neither. I’m talking about a comprehensive full detail: Clay bars, wax, polish, the works. Put a cherry on this starter project with some snazzy new mats. If you absolutely must turn a wrench and install something, treat yourself to a nice cushy GT Steering Wheel. (I’m verbally authorizing that in case the li'l woman questions the $148.50 on her Visa)
That will get the ball rolling and get you ready for the upcoming Easter holiday. Now some of you poor saps won’t get any time off for this holiday and that’s a shame, but never fear because I am authorizing a minimum three-day weekend for you unless your Dad owns the company in which case I authorize a full week. I mean seriously, what employer in their right mind would ask you to suffer through that massive gap between President's Day and Memorial Day without a solid project season holiday?
I know some will say but that only leaves the 4th of July and Labor Day holidays to get the rest of our projects done. It’s just not enough time.
Not so grasshopper.
That's just your conscience talking. Ignore it and get creative. Did you forget about Father's Day? Shabam! or Mother's Day, for that matter? Shabambam! Look, I just got you six more days without breaking a sweat.
Anyone have a birthday during project season? Booya! Me too, it’s May 3rd in case you're wondering, and I always give myself a three-day weekend ... minimum.
Can you say bonus holidays? I can, and here are five of them you can easily add to project season.
St. Patricks Day, for starters. C’mon, you claim to be Irish so they expect you to call in hungover anyway, right? Hell, we might as well toss in Cinco De Mayo too. Throw in Tax Day Monday, April 18th and the U.S. Open Golf tournament weekend in June to flush out our project weekends and you should have enough days to rebuild you're entire car, never mind your actual vacation, which can easily slide into project season. This gives you anywhere between five and fifteen bonus days of unadulterated, knuckle-busting nirvana. My own project season is about to kick off with the installation of a beautiful, brand new crate motor from GM Performance Parts mated to a 700R4 tranny. Yeah, happy birthday to me, right?
So what are you waiting for? Get it on!
I’m just sayin