Camaros are big, dumb feats of engineering placed on Earth for fun. So when we heard there was a former editorial mule parked unattended in the Santa Ana shop, we canceled all collared-shirt meetings for the day and sneaked down south from our beachside offices to steal the car. The day got better when we opened the hood and found an i-1 Procharger and a water-meth kit, then noticed the crazy Weld wheels, big, gummy tires, and ZL1 brakes from yet another big, dumb factory Camaro.
Speeding north on the 405 in the Prius lane, we did the air math to figure out how fast this car should go in the quarter-mile. Loosely figured science indicates that 500 rwhp and 3,000 pounds equals a 10.50 e.t. at about 130 mph. Our co-pilot reconnoitered some old stories about this car from the Super Chevy Network and discovered the car made about 485 rwhp and we were guessing it weighs closer to 4,000 pounds full of editors and gear. That theoretically slows the car down to about 11.75 at 115 mph. Too slow, and not good enough.
Later in the week, we made some passes at the local eighth-mile dragstrip, clocking a string of high-8-second times with an average of 85 mph. The 2.10-second 60-foot times told us that the car does not bother to hook the tires and the mph told us that we weren’t making 485 rwhp in the current state of tune, or the car was actually heavier than we guessed. Since the water-meth container was empty and the touchscreen was missing, we didn’t know if we are even making boost. Once we get a new screen from Procharger in the mail and a couple of gallons of boost juice from Snow Performance, we will get the car back on the track and see if we can get the car into the 11s where it belongs. Watch the HOT ROD Network for updates.